How soon is it to move in with someone you love? A glance around the Internet gives you a timeline of “when it feels right” to “you should wait at least a year.”
With that much of a gap between the two times, the right to move is when you’re ready to take that step together. Here are some ways you can tell that you’ve reached this stage in your relationship.
1. You Can Agree on a Budget
Although it’s fun to shop for new homes together, today’s reality is that one person will move into an existing apartment, condo, co-op, or house with their significant other. That means it’s more important to settle on a budget for the two of you instead of finding the perfect place. Have an honest conversation about what you can afford so that you can manage each other’s money expectations.
2. You Aren’t Doing It for the Money
It makes sense to move in with your significant other in NYC because you could save thousands of dollars each month on rent. Money shouldn’t be the only reason to cohabitate. It would be best if you were confident that you want to be with that person full-time for other reasons.
If you haven’t reached that moment in your relationship yet, it might be better to put off moving in together until you know things are serious.
3. You Have Practiced Living Together
If you’re already spending 3-5 nights together each week, you’re in a position to make that relationship a full-time arrangement. It helps to get a sense of what it is like to wake up next to the other person each day. Try merging your two households a bit more if you’re only spending a night or two together to see if things still feel like a good fit.
4. You Have Compatible Schedules
Some married couples make alternative schedules work for themselves, but they end up seeing very little of one another. It’s tough when you work the third shift, and your partner must be on Zoom calls all morning.
Even when you’re on the same schedule, it’s challenging to accomplish specific tasks with divergent lifestyles or priorities. A shared calendar can help, but both parties must be committed to it for this option to be effective.
5. You Plan to Share Expenses
Once you’ve figured out a budget and a rental splitting plan, it’s time to address the shared expenses you’ll have when living together. For example, are you responsible for your groceries only? Will one party pay the electric and water bill while the other handles cable and Internet?
When you first move in together, a plan to separate everything 50-50 is usually a great starting place. Then, once you have a better idea of what to expect with your income, you can split things more proportionally to help each other.
6. You Can Share the Chores
Some people are surprisingly messy when they’re alone at home. You won’t see that result until you become part of that comfort zone.
You’ll find some individuals expect their significant other to do almost all the chores, from unloading the dishwasher to scrubbing the floors. If you fight that routine, they might get angry or give you the silent treatment.
It doesn’t need to be a 50-50 split on chores, especially if one person is home most of the time. Both people should pitch in and feel like their contributions are valuable. If you don’t have that in your relationship, it’s better to avoid moving in together.
7. You’re on the Same Page About Life
Is your dog allowed to be on the furniture, including the sofa and the bed? Does your partner’s cat let their pet scratch up the dressers and tables? When a pet gets brought into a shared home, who pays for the vet, cleanup duties, and the damage?
A pet is only one part of merging a life. You could be bringing kids into the home, plans to start a family or a lot of baggage from previous relationships.
You must be on the same page about life, even if you don’t entirely agree. If not, it’s better to work out those differences before moving in together.
What to Do When It Is Time to Move
Merging two households into one can be a challenging experience. You’ve got potentially two of everything, which means a few things need to go.
If you don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket, consider contacting Expo Movers about transferring some items to storage. We can help you move the stuff you’re keeping to the new home while protecting your assets in climate-controlled facilities if things don’t work out.
Moving in together is a big step for many relationships. When you have covered these points successfully, you might be ready to take that leap.