What to Do If Only One of You Wants to Move
You found a fantastic place that lessens your commute considerably. There’s a park down the block, a coffee shop around the corner, and more space for you and your partner.
Everything seems to be perfect. There’s only one hitch in the plan: your partner doesn’t want to move to the new home.
Although some people make long-distance relationships work, this set of circumstances can be significantly disruptive to all intimate partnerships. Whether you’ve been together two months or 40 years, this moving situation happens more often than you might realize.
That’s why the first step in this process is to know that you’re not alone. When you can see that you’re not on an island, it’s easier to find the help you need to navigate this situation.
Steps to Take When Only One Person Wants to Move
What can you do when one partner wants to stay and the other is ready to move into a new place?
1. Decide what the relationship needs.
Both partners must decide what they need and want out of their relationship. How committed are you to the other person?
Some moving experiences make one partner happy and miserable because it eliminates support networks and reduces family connections.
If you fear change, it might be worthwhile to have an honest conversation about how you feel and why. The bottom line here is that no one, not even a spouse, is responsible for your choices. You must decide to stay or go.
2. Listen to your partner.
Whether you’re the one staying or going, it is still wise to take some time to listen to your partner’s thoughts and feelings. Active listening skills require this conversation to happen in an environment without distractions. You’ll need to turn off the phone, television, and other items that could be interruptive.
When your partner says what is on their mind, repeat back to them the things you heard. This step ensures you’re on the same page.
3. Be willing to compromise.
If it seems like you’re the one who gets all of the benefits from moving, you’ll need to work with your partner to see what advantages (beyond being with you) are part of the equation.
It’s a tough ask to have someone sacrifice their time and energy to make things easier for you.
Every new home offers some benefits to consider.
- You might be moving into a better school district.
- It could be a chance to find a new job instead of working in the same dead-end employment opportunity.
- The home prices or rental costs could be lower than where you are now.
When someone doesn’t see a path forward where their quality of life improves, it’ll not be easy to convince that person to move with you.
If you’re the person who doesn’t want to move, give this evaluation a fair chance. When you can see the positives of your partner’s wants, there could be advantages that offer some help with this transition.
It might be helpful to find a mid-point home where the commute is equal for both of you.
4. Get the stress out of the situation.
When people move to a new home, it is one of the most stressful situations in their lives. Researchers have found that emotional distress levels are as high as going through a divorce.
If one person wants to move and the other prefers to stay, the relocation stress could trigger causing the issue.
You can eliminate some of the stress by incorporating some of these ideas into the moving process.
- Hire a professional moving company. If you can bring in an agency to help pack, load, and unload your belongings at the new hone, you’ll alleviate the biggest stress triggers that a move can cause.
- Use home planning tools. If your partner doesn’t want to move, it could be a question of comfort. When you can let them design a space that feels like home, it might make the transition easier to manage.
- Be mindful of depression. Although a new home represents opportunities, it can also cause people to focus on the things they’re losing.
When you’re in a relationship, both people’s needs should be part of the decision-making process. That’s why moving shouldn’t be a choice made by only one of you. There isn’t a right or wrong answer to offer. Whether you should stay or go is in your hands